Holier Than Thou; Not Holy Enough

The Party of Morals Learns a Moral by Robert J. Elisberg

Once upon a time, there was a President who went around his country telling cheering crowds a week before the election that his party would win. He ridiculed his opponents about prematurely measuring their new offices for curtains, and with laughing bravado reminded his audience how his opponents had expected to win the White House two years earlier, but look who's there now.
And he and his crowds laughed and laughed.

Moral: When you joke about your opponents measuring for curtains, you may discover that it turns out to be curtains for you.

Once upon a time, there was an evil magic vizier named Karl who advised his crowned head of state. Karl roved across the land, and when troubadours heralded the news that more people admired Karl's enemies than liked his royal sovereign, Karl disagreed and cast a magic spell, waving his hand, and saying "They have their numbers, and I have the numbers."

And upon his words, some people saw the sky become dark, and became frightened. However, the sky was dark only in their minds, for in truth Karl had no numbers at all. It was but bad voodoo magic. And bad voodoo magic is no magic at all. One day, two brave souls showed up at the castle to voice their preferences, and the sky was indeed bright and shining after all.

Moral: Bluffing with your hand can sometimes win the pot, but in the end even a pair of twos beats no King.

Moral: Just because you've gotten people to come to your party in the past doesn't mean they'll keep showing up if the food becomes tasteless, and you change the music to something they hate.

Once upon a time, the Republican Party liked to pretend it was the party of morals. It convinced many people of this because "the party of morals" sounds noble and holier than thou. When they talked about morals, however, they really only meant sex and ignored the morality of keeping people out of poverty, providing an education to children, making sure everyone's health care was ensured and tolerance for their fellow men and women.

And then it happened that they weren't really as moral on those few things they preached about either. Their moral leaders got caught heavily gambling, abusing children, covering up that abuse just to win votes, lying about felony drug use and prostitution and about what they hypocritically preached to others was deviant. They were indicted for bribery, indicted for putting defenders of America at risk, and convicted of illegal influence. And for all their morality, they allowed a city to be wiped off the map and did little to help the destitute.

In fact, it was revealed that all their claims of morality were just a cynical effort to win the blind support of those who they actually called "nuts" behind their backs. They ignored their faith-based promises. And in the end, they lost much support by these people who would have otherwise followed them into the fires of Hell.

Moral: If you want others to see you as holy, make sure that your morals aren't full of holes.